Whitewash a wall, Tom Sawyer style, and would stay still staring for more than one coat, if necessary.
Hang up your favorite prints and pictures on the wall after the paint dries, taking care to make sure they’re completely straight and level.
Butter toast on both sides, like some kind of maniac.
Light up a room — and I don’t mean it in the saccharine sense, like you do it with your smile or entrance or whatever, though I’d of course watch that too, but literally entering and flicking a switch, that simple.
Brush your teeth and go through your full nightly routine, from floss to makeup removal to lotion application.
Panic-order food from a drive-thru, getting too much for the two of us to plow through.
Eat chips in bed, sometimes getting crumbs everywhere, but I’d do so without complaint and I’d never make any kind of move to ask you to leave said bed.
Unpack the boxes full of things you don’t necessarily want me to touch or see.
Rearrange the refrigerator and finally do away with my carefully curated condiment drawer.
Wash your delicates in the sink or tub.
Fold your clothes on the bed.
Clean out and color-code the closet.
Steam your Sunday’s Best.
Chastise me for being unable to really help you when it comes to perfectly folding a fitted sheet.
Sing a karaoke song I hate because of an ex-girlfriend while I quickly fall in love with your version and forget about her, hopefully forever.
Argue with Alexa about the accuracy of her weather reports.
Watch a movie, losing the plot myself and then watching your reaction to the unexpected twist.
Talk your way out of a parking ticket.
Try to pet every single dog you pass, even and especially the ornery ones.
Pick up your first ever foster dog, then picking up its shit from the sidewalk.
Do Sudoko, or get frustrated to the point of a furrowed brow over crossword puzzles that get harder and harder as the week moves along.
Point out my shortcomings, without rebuttal.
Pack your boxes back up.
Walk away, wondering why all I can do is watch, when there are plenty of things i’m sure I could say to make you stay.